Dream Theater - Train of Thought

This album is fucking sublime. I can't think of any other word to describe it, because it's so incredibly powerful and consistent that every time I listen to it I'm blown away all over again. So get ready for some gushing 'cuz we're doing this shit.

Context or "Progressive Music is way too boring way too often" 

So why is this album so good? Put simply, it's because it's different. See, one of the ironic things about the "progressive rock/metal/whatever" genre is how goddamn boring it can be. A lot of the time it seems like "progressive" before that rock or metal really just means "we have keyboards and long songs". Yes, we get it, you're expressing yourself and it's very impressive. I just don't want to listen to a 15 minute song about overcoming your problems or space or whatever silly thing those songs are always about. Oh yeah, that's another problem with this type of music - the songs are always about nothing. Sure, sometimes there'll be one song about the guitarist's last breakup thrown in there, but 95% of the time you aren't even engaged in the topic that these guys have spent so much time turning into a song that drags on far too long, which is a real shame.

And Dream Theater is definitely guilty of this, but a lot less than some other bands *cough The Flower Kings cough Yes*. It seems like for every "Take the Time" you have to sit through 20 minutes of "These Walls" - which gets old. And when you look at the albums that preceded Train of Thought, you'll notice how abstract things were getting - Scenes From a Memory was a concept album about reincarnation and Six Degrees was almost entirely about mental illnesses - not exactly relatable. All of the songs on Train of Thought, however, are much more grounded in their subject matter and are a lot more grokkable as a result.

Finally, this album was a chance for the band to fully explore their metal leanings in earnest, which had never happened before and probably will never happen again now that Mike Portnoy is gone. It immediately followed Six Degrees - a very good album, but one that was pretty firmly "Dream Theater" stuff. Train of Thought ditched that for something much more raw and much more straightforward.

Now that we have that crap out of the way, maybe I should talk about the goddamn CD eventually, right? Yeah.

The Actual Review

Holy shit. If anyone had doubts about Dream Theater's ability to write some serious metal riffs, then they might've busted their mouth putting their foot in there so fast! The first track, As I Am sets the bar high - it also has (I think) the only actual legit studio track drum solo in DT's whole catalog, not counting instrumental songs! Honestly, it just keeps getting better from there. This Dying Soul continues the 12 Step Suite brilliantly, leading right into my personal favorite, Endless Sacrifice. This mofo is an 11 minute jamfest with some of the best headbanging riffs I've ever heard and some absolutely incredible vocals and lyrics. You barely have time to breathe before the opening riff to Honor Thy Father starts pounding your eardrums and sends you right back to the moshpit - another shining moment. At this point things dial back a bit with Vacant, a short little vocal piece a la "Wait for Sleep" which flows right into the album's instrumental piece, Stream of Consciousness. This is my favorite instrumental after "The Dance of Eternity", and it has all of the qualities of that song - incredible solos that keep you interested and a great hook right off the bat. Finally, we have the album closer: the 14 minute monster In the Name of God. This one starts off a little slow, but really picks up after the 6 minute mark and has an incredible ending, making for an excellent conclusion to a jaw-dropping album. So why do I like it so much?

- The songs are actually about real, relatable stuff. As I Am is juvenile defiance at it's best, Endless Sacrifice is probably my favorite love song ever, In the Name of God is about religion, This Dying Soul tackles alcoholism, and Honor Thy Father deals with awful father-son relations. Notice anything about space? How about finding the inner light inside your mind? Nope, none of that shit. These are all real songs about real issues, and the change of pace is greatly appreciated.

- Length. These songs are all around 10 minutes long, but they do not feel like it - which is perfect! These songs are all packed to the brim with changing tempos, riffs, and dynamics enough to make each one seem like a self contained experience, which is hugely important and a big part of why I love this CD so much: these songs all feel like complete, well-rounded compositions that aren't drawn out unnecessarily. They're all beefy and full of content, solid yet light, heavy but quick on their feet.

- Emotion. Since Dream Theater is a bunch of music nerds from Long Island, they don't usually have the same feel that you get from listening to a Neil Young album - but that couldn't be more the opposite here. When you here Portnoy's fill at the end of Endless Sacrifice, you feel the emotion he put into it. When you hear James LaBrie's snarling in Honor Thy Father or the Battle Hymn of the Republic being chanted during the final minutes of In the Name of God, you can feel all the blood, sweat and tears that went into this record.

- Playing. Crazy musicianship is a staple of Dream Theater's work, but they manage to raise even their level of playing for this one. The guitar and drum solos in As I Am, the guitar + keyboard solo In the Name of God, the drumming in Endless Sacrifice and Stream of Consciousness - all of the guys outdid themselves here, and you really just have to listen to appreciate it.

These guys poured their souls into Train of Thought and it shows - the disc is packed front to back with emotion and vision. Even if you hate Dream Theater's regular stuff, even if you hate progressive rock, hell, even if you hate metal - you owe to yourself to give it a spin. No one should miss an album this good.

Spec Ops: The Line

Spec Ops: The Line

That "The Line" subtitle is much more interestingly explored than you're probably thinking

I've heard a lot about this game the last couple of months. It's usually compared to Far Cry 3 as an example of this new-ish trend of "games about games". The consensus seems to be that while Far Cry 3 was mechanically very sound and the story definitely had some nice "meta" moments, it's execution was just a little too safe. The elements of an effective "Apocalypse Now" style journey into madness are (mostly) all there, just oddly hidden beneath layers of subtext that you really need to be looking closely at to see. Personally, too many of the "purposefully" oddly implemented elements - like the animal skinning that doesn't actually skin the animal, Buck's weird ability to track your movements, the magic compass that no-one seems interested in, the hallucinatory boss-fights like the one with Vaas (and especially with Hoyt). With all of this cognitive dissonance being thrown around, you'd think that by the end of the game the events would've built up to a drugged-out fever pitch, but they... don't. I mean, the ending is very trippy, but it's explained ludically (sort of, at least - Citra blows some magic powder in your face and after that things get weird), and it's actually pretty tame compared to what happened at Vaas' compound.

In the end, Far Cry 3 is more similar to Metal Gear Solid 2 than any other game. Both games feature bizarre, unexplained supernatural elements and fantastic, barely-believable story arcs. They're both built around deep gameplay mechanics with a lot of choices available to the player, and they both have eye-catching worlds that feel less than real.

But where MGS2 committed suicide at the end and shoved the truth violently into players' faces, Far Cry 3 felt much more hesitant to break the spell (the unceremonious way in which you're dumped back onto the island after the credits roll immediately comes to mind here). Where MGS2 was totally willing to destroy it's own universe (and franchise, potentially) to make it's message hit harder, Far Cry 3 is torn between sending players a message and keeping players hooked - like if players knew unequivocally that the events of the game were a satire designed to make you think about how far you're willing to go to for "escape" (Spec Ops deals with this a bit as well) they would get angry and stop playing. Personal intuition time: after seeing what happened with Far Cry 2 - i.e., allowing a small team to make a game with a very specific vision, and the resulting polarized reaction - Ubisoft was a little more cautious this time around. Far Cry 3 could be "meta" and "subvertive", sure - but above all else, it needed to be fun. It needed to be a hit. And that's why I think Far Cry 3 is remembered as a great shooter with a "weird story", rather than how people talk about, say, Spec Ops, for instance. Wow, was that a good segue or what?

What Was I Talking About Again?

Spec Ops: The Line, on the other hand, is very different from Far Cry 3. It's also pretty different from MGS2 - I think the only game you can really compare it to is Far Cry 2 in terms of themes and motifs, but even that is kind of shaky. Ludically speaking, the games are quite different in approach - Far Cry 2 gives you a sandbox and a loose overall goal, leaving all the decision making up to you - the degree to which you murder and destroy is largely on your shoulders, and the games' ample quiet moments and gorgeous landscape serve as great counterpoints to the depravity taking place around you. And no matter what you do, the game doesn't really condemn or praise either approach - it just sits back and lets you make your own decisions about how to proceed. The overall tone, despite (or maybe because of) the bright wilderness, is very bleak, and I find the game to be pretty draining (maybe because of all the driving).

Now look at Spec Ops, and you can immediately see that this game is going about things in a very different way. But I'll talk about that stuff a bit later. First, the boring stuff!

Graphics

One of this game's insane vistas

 Obviously the most important part of any game, right? Kinda, sorta, not really. Anyway, if you're coming off of Crysis or something and are preparing for some awful 2011-era polygons here, you should be pleasantly surprised (mostly). 75% of the time, Spec Ops is a fine looking game with interesting environments and good character models. 15% of the time the semi-post apocalyptic clutter and some awkwardly animated cut scenes pop up and bring the experience down a notch. 10% of the time the game looks incredible, and the art direction and environmental design really come together for some literally "wow" moments. The faces look excellent and they did a great job with you and your squads' character models reflecting their mental states - in the beginning they're a bunch of clean-cut soldiers cracking jokes. By the end, they're bloodied and tired, and jokes stopped somewhere in the first third of the game.

This is one of the strengths of the game: showing your character (Walker) as he slides deeper and deeper into total batshit psychosis. By the end of the game half of his face is horrible burned and blackened, and I'm pretty sure he's missing an ear. These visual metaphors help reinforce the impact of the events of the game on your character - it's a great idea that works well here. 

Sound

Just as important as the graphics are the sounds - I think we all know how a soundtrack can make or break a game. Spec Ops surprised me here - I was expecting CoD-type stuff, gruff dudes shouting orders over thumping war music and the like. And there is some of that, definitely, but the audio in this game is a bit different from your usual shooter. First, there are a number of licensed songs - "Hush" by Deep Purple, some Black Angel songs, and others. They're used sparingly enough to make you "wake up" and notice what's happening in their contexts, and also effective at keeping the action up and not giving you a chance to breath. The general ambient soundtracks are also quite good, mostly rockin' guitar type stuff that fits the "gung-ho" nature of the first couple chapters of the game nicely. Overall, the music enhances the player's confusion by not giving them much time to really think - this game does have quiet moments, and they're very deliberate and are much more affecting because of the usual cacophony being blasted at you.

The enemies' banter also reinforces the dream-like horror. Soldiers shout scared expletives and confused directives, and their voices echo and warble in battlefield terror. On the other hand, your character and your team sound cool and collected in comparison, coldly dealing death to what seem to be scared and hapless foes. You'd have to be a sociopath to not have it give you pause, and it never lets up. There are small moments where you sneak up on enemies mid-conversation and have to listen to their innocent small-talk before murdering them. After executing enemies (seriously, this is a real game mechanic), your character will often be panting, breathless after bashing a persons' head in with his rifle butt. And the voice acting of the main characters is mostly well-done also, with Nolan North being perfect for the role of Walker. There are a couple of stinkers here and there (Riggs and Gould are pretty blah) but otherwise the acting is solid, with you and your squadmates' actors turning in the best performances (which is good).

Gameplay

Here's were people have some problems with Spec Ops. The gameplay is Gears of War-style cover-based shooting, but with Drake's Uncharted-style gunplay. It's pretty stock, and after the first hour there isn't anything new, which is kind of unfortunate. The controls are a bit weird and the cover-sticking mechanics aren't flawless - they work, but there's nothing really special about them., with the exception of each weapon having an alternate fire mode, which usually doesn't matter much.

Now, there are some "choices" sprinkled throughout here - but they aren't binary "paragon or renegade" choices. For most of the game, you don't have a choice to surrender or kill yourself - you just have to keep going. And when the game does give you a choice, it's ambiguous at best and, as it turns out in the end, usually pointless. And that's intentional - and awesome, because that's how life is. Life isn't "Press A to save the Little Sister, press X to harvest", it's murky and clouded and sometimes good people die and terrible things happen. But more than that, I think it's the frustration at the game for not giving you an alternative that makes it compelling. You get mad because that "choice" was bullshit, so now you cool off by killing some more American soldiers, which is kinda weird but it's OK because this game is stupid anyway. Right?

I've been writing this for a couple hours now and I'm pretty burned out, so I'll wrap things up. Bottom line? PLAY IT. Not just for the gameplay, or the graphics, or the great soundtrack - the main characters' descent into madness over the course of the events in this game is simply incredible to watch and experience. The subversion and meta stuff is interesting too, but that's more personal so I can't really tell you how you should feel about it. Suffice it to say, this game will make you think about quite a few things - and anytihng that makes you think like this is good.

Ayreon's The Theory of Everything

Ayreon's The Theory of Everything

So you've probably never heard of this "Ayreon" band/thing, right? Yeah, neither had I until this album came out a couple months ago, but it involves neither rap, boy bands, or Lordes, it didn't exactly make a splash in the mainstream. Which kinda sucks, because this is actually a pretty sweet CD. Why? Well, dear reader, look for the answers further in this piece!

Well first, who the hell is Ayreon? Some band? WRONG, you idiot. Ayreon is just one dude, a Dutch guy named Arjen Lucassen. He writes all the lyrics and composes the lyrics, then he gets a bunch of guest musicians to come in and record it for him. If you're thinking that sounds almost exactly like The Alan Parsons Project, then you're right, but shut up because it's different. Instead of a British guy and a fat man writing songs about Isaac Asimov books, Mr. Lucassen here deals pretty much exclusively in that long-forgotten art form of: the rock opera! I have no idea how this guy isn't as popular as Daft Punk.

So this album is a rock opera. And just like those Tommy and Mr. Roboto, the The Theory of Everything is a concept album. And before you pre-judge this CD and assume the story is retarded like a Styx album, back the fuck up, 'cause the plot is actually pretty grounded. Basically it's about a genius savant who's trying to solve the "Theory of Everything". His dad is jealous of his genius-ness and his mom doesn't actually do much, now that I think about it. If it sounds kind of mundane, that's because it is. There aren't any dragons or magic or robots or anything like that. Actually, the only thing "opera"-ish about this CD is the writing. The lyrics are kind of silly. I'll give you an example because I know you're too lazy to look some up.

"Oh no, I can't believe
You're falling for this loser
Oh no, I thought you knew,
That I am so much cooler!"

To be fair, the character that's saying this shit is a teenager, but it's still funny when an adult is belting these lines out. Also, some of the characters sound alike so it can be hard to tell who the hell is talking and what's going on -- I didn't even realize there where two separate female characters until looking up these lyrics, and I listened to this CD like five times. So... try to listen real good? And besides the sometimes cheesy lyrics, the guest vocalists TEAR THIS SHIT UP. They turn this stuff from cheesy Good Will Hunting-type knockoff material into a pretty legit story that I enjoy listening to as it plays out. Special props goes to Tommy Karevik who knocked his part out of the park.

And if you couldn't tell by the album art, band name, or the fact that this is a concept album... this is a prog rock album through and through. Lots of cool instruments and unorthodox musical structures, just like you''d expect. That's pretty much par for the course when it comes to this genre in general and Ayreon's stuff in particular, but one thing deserves special mention - in addition to all of the other great musicians and singers, fucking Rick Wakeman and "Rock Musician You Would Be Least Surprised to See at a Comic Book Shop" contest winner Jordan Rudess both play keyboards on this thing, which is a lot lamer than I thought it sounds. Basically, they just have separate solos on separate songs, so sadly no keyboard dueling. Still pretty cool though.

So yeah, this is a really good album. It's got an interesting story that isn't too serious/melodramatic (cough Dream Theater cough) with great melodies and amazing vocals. Definitely worth a few spins.

Far Cry 2

I finished Far Cry 2 yesterday, pretty close to the 1 year anniversary of when I bought it. It took me a YEAR to finally get through this game for reasons I'll get into a little later, but first I want to put down why I think this game is so unique and rewarding.

1. The Tutorial Sequence

Annoying tutorial sections are pretty much ubiquitous in games nowadays, especially since the phasing out of instruction manuals in recent years (Metal Gear Solid is the only franchise I can think of that still has real instruction manuals). Usually you have a simple mission or objective that explains the basics to you, or sometimes the "tutorials" are hidden in the game's menus and it just drops you right into things. 

Far Cry 2's tutorial sequence is an excellent mix of both options--the game begins simply by dropping you into a cab in an unnamed African state and giving you a short tour of your new surroundings, while also hinting at some of the game's themes and systems - your route takes you past a brushfire (beautifully rendered thanks to the Dunia engine), displaced refugees, an uneasy encounter at a checkpoint, and your contraction of malaria. All of this happens before you even need to press a button.

The tutorial begins in earnest shortly after this point, and has you perform the following actions:

• Obtain weapons (FC2's weapon loadout system is explained here)
• Repair a car (you'll be doing this a lot)
• Take said car to a Safehouse, murder the men guarding it (now you know how to unlock Safehouses)
• Take a nap in the Safehouse cot to regain health and set the time of day (now you know how to save your game at Safehouses)
• Get back in your car, take it to a small enemy outpost
• Scout out the outpost with your map & monocular, tagging certain entities (vehicles, mounted weapons, snipers, etc.) 
• Clear out the post and meet your first Buddy (now you understand the Buddy system)
• At some point you'll probably pick up an enemy's weapon - at this point the weapon degradation system is explained.
• Meet the Buddy at a bar and also receive a task from a journalist (You remember the guy from earlier who nearly killed you, and recognize his voice on the tapes. You're intrigued)
• You leave the bar and notice the weapons shop nearby. You go in, an have the convoy missions setup explained to you, and also how to buy and use weapons
• Your GPS diamond tracker turns on and you find your first diamond cache
• You return to town, and you're informed that the tutorial is over. The main points are quickly recapped and missions are explained. 
• The tutorial ends with a reminder of your overall objective - "Find and kill the Jackal."

That may sound like a lot, and it admittedly gets a little overwhelming. But once you get past any initial confusion, thats it. The game's systems have all been laid out for you - now your free to do whatever you want, and there aren't any surprises like new enemy types or radical environmental changes - this is it. 

2. Emergent Gameplay

Thanks to these mechanics and systems, Far Cry 2 is pretty much the king of emergent gameplay. "Emergent gameplay/narrative" is a term used to describe game experiences (gameplay) and plot elements (narrative) that aren't authored. Games like GTA and Oblivion also feature a lot of emergent gameplay, and it's basically a buzzword for situations or moments that happen as a result of the player interacting with the game's systems. For example - one mission in FC2 required me to go to a trainyard and destroy a rail car full of natural gas. I arrived at the yard and started picking off enemies stealthily, but it wasn't long before it devolved it until a full-on gunfight. And right in the middle of things, I ran out of ammo for my rifle and was forced to pick up a rusty shotgun from one of my fallen enemies - to make things worse, I was wounded and had no way to heal up. Things became extremely tense as I crept around the area in a desperate game of cat and mouse with the remaining enemies, but I managed to take the rest out and complete the mission. My relief was almost palpable, and remember that all of that happened because I ran out of ammo. That is "emergent gameplay". 

And since FC2 is so open-ended and immersive (I forgot to mention that you have no HUD, and get around the world by navigating using a physical in-game map) it acts as a natural catalyst for these stories and moments to be created.

3. Themes and Message

Another interesting aspect of this game is your role as a player - at the beginning of the game, you choose from one of 9 different characters. The choice has no statistical difference as each character plays the same way, but the characters you didn't pick show up in the game as "buddy" characters that you can work with. What's more, these buddies will often offer you alternative ways of completing missions - and as you can imagine since you're a mercenary working for African warlords, these alternatives are usually even more morally questionable than the primary option. However, carrying out these alternatives always results in an easier mission, so you have to choose between shorter and more difficult tasks, or longer and easier ones. Incentives for working with your buddy include upgrades for your Safehouses, and increased reputation with them. Taking the "buddy way" also involves you having to rescue them from a dangerous situation - and if you don't really want them around anymore, you can murder them or just leave them to die out in the wilderness.

If the buddy system serves to reinforce your position as part of a band of morally challenged killers who only look out for themselves, the rest of the game will drill the message of "war is pointless" into you pretty thoroughly. Several times throughout the game, the warlords task you with doing something to prolong the conflict as they don't want to it end (nor do they want international scrutiny, so they arrange for token peace agreement to dispel attention from the rest of the world). Many of the missions have similar objectives to each other (drive somewhere, kill some guys, blow something up) and several times I felt like I was getting nowhere. The ending really reinforces this, as your and the Jackal's efforts achieve almost nothing. 

So yeah, Far Cry 2 is really cool. It's not easy to play and it actively pushes against you - you never feel entirely comfortable - but as you push through, the mechanics of the game are very rewarding once you put in a few hours. Just don't get it on console - the PC version is far superior.

Dream Theater's "Dream Theater" Review

In an industry where legendary feuds and destructive break-ups are the rule rather than the exception, it's reassuring to see a band like Dream Theater still relatively intact after nearly thirty years of toruing and recording. The band's history is definitely an abnormality in the age of instantly-created pop stars and Youtube sensations – from taking two years to find the right vocalist after firing their first one following the completion of their first album, to the recording of their landmark Images and Words three years after the release of their debut album, the revolving-door history of their keyboard players (the current one, Jordan Rudess, is the third), to the most significant event in the band's history since the addition of James LaBrie in 1991 – the departure of founding member, drummer, and songwriter Mike Portnoy in 2010. It's fitting, then, that the band chose this year to release a self-titled album to mark their time together, celebrate their career so far, and (hopefully) silence any naysayers who have doubts about the band's future in these uncertain times.

With all of this turbulent history, it makes the band's massive legacy and acclaim even more impressive. Dream Theater is a progressive rock band that managed to swim against the current of alternative and grunge rock in the early nineties with their own special blend of highly technical instrumentality, their ear for hooky riffs, and their unquenchable thirst to continually push their limits. Having any kind of success as a progressive rock band after Nirvana's Nevermind seemed like a long shot at best – but not only did their 1992 album Images and Words gain them significant critical praise, they only attracted more attention as they honed their unique prog formula down the years – no small part owed to their legendary reputation in concert: their shows regularly reach the three hour mark, with no intermission and no opening act, and they're probably the most heavily bootlegged band in recent history thanks to their penchant for performing a rotating set list crafted to ensure as few repeats as possible during the tour and a habit of surprising fans with spectacular covers and goofs – anything from randomly playing the theme to “The Simpsons” mid-song to diving into renditions of Elton John and Metallica songs without warning. Nowadays, they're considered giants who forged a new genre of music imaginatively dubbed “progressive metal” and have inspired countless bands with their unabashed love for obscure time signatures, intricate (sometimes purposely so) instrumental passages, and poetic lyrics.

And does Dream Theater live up to this challenge? Well, yes and no. Any fans expecting a radically different sonic experience stemming from the addition of replacement drummer Mike Mangini (formerly of Annihilator and Extreme among others) will be disappointed. While Mangini and Portnoy undoubtedly have very different techniques and habits, the percussion here sounds eerily similar to what we've come to expect from the band, and much credit is due to the band as a whole for integrating Mangini into their sound so deftly. As a whole it is a bit lower key than previous albums, but anyone worried about Mangini's placement into the band's greater sonic picture will be reassured by this record.

As for the songs themselves? Well, this is still a Dream Theater album. While the opening numbers “False Awakening Suite” and “The Enemy Inside” make for a promising start, the mid-tempo “The Bigger Picture” abruptly ends any fond memories of righteous headbanging by upping the Rush influence to “obvious to someone who doesn't even listen to Rush” levels. This template is repeated for the remainder of the album until the final track, the twenty-two minute epic “ Illumination Theory”. One of Dream Theater's longest endeavors, the track lacks the cohesiveness of past long-players like “Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence” and “A Change of Seasons” - rather than consist of a series of shorter songs sharing a single thread (like the former) or follow a single long-winded theme (like the latter) it just feels patched together. Periods of total silence or lightly ambient instrumental sections jarringly give way to LaBrie's vocals, which are unremarkable on this record. It's surprising, given a band of Dream Theater's ability, that so many of these songs are so consistently tame – you would think with increasing influence from both old-school icons like Rush and younger, fresher talent like Bring Me the Horizon (LaBrie has admitted to being a fan of newer hardcore bands, unlike most of his bandmates) that each track would be memorable or distinctive in some way. That isn't the case here though, with “The Looking Glass”, “Behind the Veil”, and “Surrender to Reason” all blending into one another – and not in a good “they're all part of a suite” way, either. “Enigma Machine” deserves special mention as the first instrumental track since 2003's Train of Thought and is one of the highlights of the album.

The rest of the band sounds fine, although considering each member's prodigious musical talents, “fine” for Dream Theater is more advanced than most bands will ever dare to attempt. John Petrucci's guitar playing is certainly mind boggling, but after nearly thirty years it's no longer as interesting as it once was. The same can be said for Jordan Rudess' keyboard work – this time opting for a more subdued performance unlike his more explosive past efforts. The bass guitar is quiet, as is the way for most metal albums – an unfortunate genre cliché that really should be reversed.

Dream Theater is a strange record. While it has been proclaimed as a “musical re-invention” by the band, the material here is some of the most vanilla and toothless they've ever put out. Everyone slows down with age, and Dream Theater certainly aren't in their twenties anymore. With the amount of talent they possess, they could do anything musically – and if they want to slow things down, that's fine. That's ultimately the best and worst aspect of this album – it checks all the boxes that Dream Theater albums have always checked, but without much new ground broken. It could be argued that they've already broken so much ground that they've barely got any left to stand on – and no band is more deserving of a break than this one. But whether Dream Theater will reinvigorate or solidify an already slowed-down band remains to be seen. 

Mass Effect and Making Choices Matter

So I recently played through Mass Effect 2. I played the first game like 4 years ago, and didn't remember much of it. Even so, Mass Effect 2 fucking rocked, especially in the area of choices. Basically, that's all the series is about when it comes down to it - you making decisions in situations. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's boring, and sometimes it's so fucking tense I'm YELLING at my TV because of it. And as someone who has played waaaaay to many shitty games recently, it's nice to play one that at least attempts to have some emotional impact.

One of the reasons Mass Effect in general, and 2 in particular are so good is that they present you with choices that actually matter that affect characters you actually care about. Whoa. I'll give you a for instance: Far Cry 3. The story in this game stopped being interesting after you killed Vaas, and the "choice of ending" was pretty unsatisfying.

That's it. This is the first time in this game's campaign that you're actually presented with a choice. It must have some serious repercussions, right? Haha, nope. Depending on what you do, you get a different ending cutscene. After the credits roll, you get the option to go back to the island and keep playing. After that, it's like no campaign even happened - nothing in the environment is different save for one location, and no one makes any kind of comment on what you chose.

If you're going to make the ending, you know, the end of your game, at least make it really the end. If Far Cry 3 had simply ended after picking an ending, without the option to continue playing afterwards, I think it would've worked much better. Certainly would've felt more significant. Also, the characters in this game are so bland I forgot one of their names during the campaign. Forget about feeling any sort of emotional attachment - while it's definitely easy to blame it on the game's uneven writing, you also don't really get to see much of your friends so it's hard to give a shit.

Mass Effect, though, forces you to spend the whole damn game recruiting and doing missions with your buddies. While this doesn't instantly make them super well fleshed out, their optional loyalty missions are all interesting and at least give you some basic background info on them. And Far Cry 3 may not be the best comparison - it's an FPS game, not really on the same plane as Mass Effect.

Which is another thing Mass Effect has that makes it more interesting - you're fighting for the survival of the fucking galaxy. Far Cry 3's quest to save some whiny white kids seems microscopic in perspective.

Oh yeah, and the Illusive Man is badass.

What the fuck is up with the Far Cry 3 handbook entries?

So in Far Cry 3, there's an in-game handbook with little blurbs about basically everything in the game - weapons, people, even the different flowers.

The content of these blurbs range from boring, to funny, to BONE-CHILLINGLY HORRIFYING. Seriously.


I can tell you'd like an example. Here's the text from the entry for the wild boars:

"Hope you aren't kosher, because boars are the primary food source on Rook Island".

(Side note: some of the entries refer to "Rook Island" and others say "The Rook Islands". Which is it? It's like the writers forgot there are 2 damn islands in the game. What did they call the South Island? "South Island"? So we have 2 islands to explore in Far Cry 3: Rook Island and the South Island. GJ, Ubisoft.)

Anyway... so that was pretty harmless right? Not really funny, but cute at least. Now here's the entry for the jellyfish:

"The screams through the night. The hot air of explosions shaking the treetops. The bodies. Some faceless. They were only following orders."

Jesus Christ, when did Far Cry 3 become Apocalypse Now: the Game? Every time I read that, I laugh because it's so jarring - completely at odds with the tone of the game.

Want more? Here's the entry for the fucking seagull:

"Every night I watch the skies from inside my bunker. They'll come back. If I watch they'll come. I can hear the voices from the sky. Calling my name. There's the ridge. The guns in the jungle. Screaming. Smoke. The blood. All over my hands."

Again, holy fuck. Where is this coming from? As far as I know, only these 2 animals' entries are this weird. A lot of them are lame, but none of them are this out-there. Why? I'm not sure, but I have a theory.

These 2 animals, seagull and jellyfish, are both huge pains in the ass to actually kill. The seagulls are only found on the beaches and fly the hell away from you pretty much as soon as they see you, so you have to be a little creative. The jellyfish, on the other hand, are literally invulnerable - the only way to kill them is to go to a certain part of the ocean that's glitched out and is just a normal patch of seafloor you can walk around on, and throw a Molotov at one. Obviously, the average gamer is not going to give a shit about these handbook entries (which don't count towards anything), so they'll probably never see any of these entries.

And since they figured no one would go to the trouble of getting these entries, the writers probably wrote something fucked up for fun. Like I said, I can't confirm this, but it seems the most logical answer.

The next best explanation is that they intended for these entries to seem like they were ripped from the script for The Deer Hunter just to... I dunno. Enhance the atmosphere? Maybe they thought it would be funny? I don't know, but it's interesting, and I like games that interesting tidbits hidden in them. Especially after I thought I had pretty much beaten this game to a pulp.